Takes time to understand ….and for people

I came across this story a long time ago but recently someone has presented it using the powerful approach of multimedia. Some of you may have heard this before.

The story is about a teacher’s experience of not judging student by their appearance but to take time to understand and love the student. You can hear the story here http://www.makeadifferencemovie.com/ or you can watch this video here

To me, it is more this story says, to me it is about taking time to know the person. Because, knowing where that person comes from can shape your perspective of that person and thus building relationship or encouraging growth. I do that this story or the video would be a catalyst to shape how you see people differently.

As for me, I have learned to see my wife, my three children, people in my cell group,and people around me differently.

Emotionally drained

The vacation over at Bintan went well, evrybody was happy. I hope that everybody’s needs are catered and at least everybody came away with some good and positive memory.   Christmas came and went…looks like a good time for all…me? well in the midst of these all, I was still trying to recover and set sail in the right direction.  God is very gracious to me by showing me what’s with my life and how the direction to take for the rest of my life.  Towards the end of the end of 2008, I was all geared up to face on 2009 with His strength and courage.  But came the first day of 2009, the emotional discouragement onset came on again, with full blast.  You could imgine it yourself.

By God’s grace I will rise up – for my wife, my children, my parents (now that I know my mother-in-law is not well), and for my dear heavenly Father .  Although, I am determined not to stay knocked down.. thoug the pain is unbearable.  

There were many issues that happen which I don’t understand.  I did not purposely make it happen.  I can only say that I am guilty of  not knowing and not been able to meet the expectations of many but I definitly did not purposely cause pain to others.  I am not giving excuses or running away; however it is very emotionally draining to live day-in and day-out thinking if I have passed the exam of expectation every day.

I have learned recently that as a husband and father, the buck stop with me, I am fully responsible for all happening in my family (good and bad), I have to take all in and not to complain, and I must stay on….However, I have also been reminded not to walk alone but to talk to the one closest to me….to brainstorm, to have breakthrough, basically for help.  

Yes, God has granted me 2nd chance and I really appreciate Him for this.  In the process of walking through this 2nd chance journey, I have encountered some wake-up calls in my life (showing my weaknesses) and I want to make good on these wake-up calls.  But I have also learned that it is not easy to make-good of these wake-up calls.  Believe me, I have tried and will not give up trying.  But everytime I thought I have make some positive progress, then the hits would come in and throw me off in a roller coster of emotional discouragement, and the hits are getting stronger and hard to predict.  As I am writing this, I am holding my tears….I love these people very much (I am incapable of love to this extend except God is doing this through me)  and I just don’t understand this whole thing.

There were times that I ask if they know that I am hurting inside?  But, I stop of thinking furthur because I am the warrior and therefore I must take it in…all.  

Father, I promise that I will be the warrior, the king, the mentor, and the friend that you want me to be.  This is a difficult journey but this is my destiny you have set for me.  This is my destiny.

Stuff that makes the family

Stuff that makes the family.

It has always my desire to built a close family.  Actually, not just a close nitted family but a Godly family.  Hence, I have embarked on the journey to seek for a vision for my family. And then I realise that to have a vision I need to know what’s mine.  And I found out this is dicovering of my destiny.  Well it makes sense to me.  Once I know my destiny then the vision comes.  Talk is easy. But I am determine to wait upon God to show me all these.  

In walking down this process, there were many quetions evolved.  I don’t think I will be able to get all these questions answered but I know as I seek Him, I am more closer and closer to Him. 

Well, I realise that whenever I start walking close to God, challenges come along too.  There are too many challenges now.  However, I will ride through this by His grace.

Dear Lord, I will keep my ear in tune to your words and my heart to your heart beats.

Wings of eagle

Yes, wings of eagle. It gives me the impression of strength, steady, dependable, trustable, endurance, never give up, power and yet gentle to its children hiding under them. I could sit here and come up with many more description but I think you know what I mean. Over the weekend I have learned something new about eagle’s wings and that is if one would be sitting on the eagle’s wings then one has no say of the destination. The eagle will go wherever it wants and stop whenever it wants.

These days I can say that I am feeling like riding on the eagle’s wings. All I can do is to hang on to it’s wings, so fearful to let go of my hands. I can’t imagine sitting on the wings, because it most probable too dangerous to be sitting up on the wings. I am more incline to say that I am on prone holding on the wings; actually to be more accurate – I am more like hanging to me dear life at times. I guess the value comes from the rides on the wings and not arriving at the destination. Thus, God is interested in using the journey to sharpen and grow my characters and not the arriving itself.

End of week recap

It’s Friday now and am having eating lunch now, waiting for a 11:30 am meeting.  As I write, the situation of the economy is relly bad.  Many Singapore investors are waiting if they can recover some of their investment in some of the Singapore major banks.  In like of the same tone, I heard that our salary adjustment hae been approved and we get to see the change as early as Nov 2008.  That’s good news but the bad news is that the they (big brother) is not back paying us from Jan 2008….Something which I foresee would happen…they have gone back to their word.  Although, this gives me a kind of bitter after taste but given their track record…ha ha …I would be surprise if they had follow up their own words.

Looking forward

Well, strange it might seems but I got a call on Sunday informing me that the job application that I have sent in three weeks ago is still alive.  I was about to let it go after two weeks of no reply (fron the date of the 1st interview).

Winter moving to Summer with Spring

This is week two since the interview.  No call. I have decided not to put too much hope on this.  In the past I would fell down since I didi not hear from them. But, I have decided to move on.  I have placed this matter in God’s hand.  God will secure this job if this is mine.  However, I will not loose hope so easily..not now.  I am reminded about holding a right attitude of not giving up.  Just now, as I look at this situation, I realise that I have also been tis path before.  But I wonder, this time round would hear positive reply from this company.

We are in the process of planning another trip to Clubmed end of the year.  The family is looking forward to this break  The last time we were there, Reuben was unwell so only Rachel enjoyed the full effect of the village.  I am so thankful that we are receiving this blessing to visit this place again.  God’s provision is awsome!

Walking down the same old street but now with clearer thoughts

After a few days since the interview…

I have been thinking how should I prepare for this next interview (via phone from Australia). What came to my mind was make sure my hp is fully charged…lol…

Many thoughts come and go since then. Who is this person? What questions will he ask? How shall I reply him? Will I be consistant with my response with the first interview? etc…

I am trying not to get too anxious; however, I must admit that I am excited in getting this job.

Finally, I have decided to just trust God for the result and at the same time to put my best effort in this journey. Will keep postered.

Repeats of some life tests

I have two job interviews within these two weeks. One last Wed and one this Wed. The one last week was with one of the local university, which I not too keen off but went for learning experience. However, the one I had yesterday was with one of the giant USA companies, which I am really keen of joining. In fact, I have had three applications with this US company and two official (including yesterday’s) interviews. I had never prepared so hard for any interviews in my life. Anyhow, I thought that no any amount of preparation would be enough. So I spent most of Tue and batter part of Wed morning talking to God about the interview.

Surprising, almost all the questions I have prepared were asked during the interview session. However, what surprised me most was that the interviewer told me to expect the second interview from his boss via phone in the next two weeks. He ( i will refer the interviewer as Mr. K) told me to do more research on the company’s products and services to prepare for the phone interview. In face Mr. K has given me lots of inforamtion to get me prepared for this interview. Hence, there are loads of information to digest and also ideas and thoughts to consolidate.

I don’t know if God will answer my prayer for this job, but I know that I will do my best to prepare myself for it. If fact, I came away from the interview with Mr. K that this job has high demand on the person but very flexible in terms of working hours and working venue (most of the time can work from home.

The Last Lecture

I missed the screening of the Last Lecture. I have come across this when Randy was still alive. I heard that this is a very motivated and yet emotional sharing by Randy. I decided to check it out in the Web. There were many video clips of his lectures available. I did not get the chance to completely see all the videos, but when he said that he did all this for his children…that’s really brought tears to my eyes.

All my three children are very dear to me. I really appreciate my wife who has been day and night taking care of the kids (sometimes could be very trying). My oldest is a girl (10 year), middle is a boy (going to be 3 years this month), and the last one is a girl (5 mths). I would wonder will I be alive when my youngest reach adulthood. My prayer and hope for my wife and myself is to be healthy and with the mean & resources to see them grow up, get married, and have children of their own. It would pains me to think other wise.

I came across this poem about father:

Oh for one hour of youthful joy!
Give back my twentieth spring!
I’d rather laugh, a bright-haired boy,
Than reign, a gray-beard king.

Off with the spoils of wrinkled age!
Away with Learning’s crown!
Tear out life’s Wisdom-written page,
And dash its trophies down!

One moment let my life-blood stream
From boyhood’s fount of flame!
Give me one giddy, reeling dream
Of life all love and fame!

My listening angel heard the prayer,
And, calmly smiling, said,
“If I but touch thy silvered hair,
Thy hasty wish hath sped.

“But is there nothing in thy track
To bid thee fondly stay,
While the swift seasons hurry back
To find the wished-for day?”

“Ah, truest soul of womankind!
Without thee what were life?
One bliss I cannot leave behind:
I’ll take – my – precious – wife!”

The angel took a sapphire pen
And wrote in rainbow dew,
The man would be a boy again,
And be a husband, too!

“And is there nothing yet unsaid,
Before the change appears?
Remember, all their gifts have fled
With those dissolving years.”

“Why, yes;” for memory would recall
My fond paternal joys;
“I could not bear to leave them all -
I’ll take – my – girl – and – boys.”

The smiling angel dropped his pen, -
“Why, this will never do;
The man would be a boy again,
And be a father, too!”

And so I laughed, – my laughter woke
The household with its noise, -
And wrote my dream, when morning broke,
To please the gray-haired boys.